Last month I wrote about “Being Present with a Pet.” Little did I know how much I would lean into it. Little did I know I would be learning to live while waiting…

At bedtime on Labor Day, Hobbes collapsed and we rushed him to Blue Pearl Emergency. Within 10 minutes, the vet explained the all the possible diagnoses.

Hobbes had fluid in the pericardium (around his heart). His heart could not expand and he collapsed. The specialty veterinarian explained all the possible causes. As we left, they were prepping him to remove the fluid. Immediately John and I agreed “No surgery!” The next day (Tuesday), they would do an echo cardiogram to get a complete picture.

Tuesday his diagnose was a 3.5-4 cm tumor on the right side of his heart. Because of the location of the tumor, it is diagnosed as dog hemangiosarcoma. It is an aggressive type of cancer that grows and spreads quickly.

Unfortunately, prognosis with fluid removal alone is poor with an average survival time of 11 days due the refilling of the pericardial sac. He will go into shock and/or instant death unless we help him along.

As I write this, Hobbes has lived 23 days! Now we celebrate every day.

The first week of September was hell for me. I was drowning in tears with the thought of Hobbes dying soon.

We won’t see or experience any of the usual signs I tell clients about – eating less, refusing food, disconnecting from the world around, and not doing the activities they love. I was in fear of him dropping dead on me at any moment.

The first two nights, I woke up at 3 am. I got in my robe and curled up next to Hobbes on the hallway carpet. We leaned into each other as I cried. We slept on the floor for 2 hours and then I put him in our bed.

I was lost. My role had changed. I was no longer helping a client. I was my own client. Then I turned for help.

I asked a very dear friend to talk with Hobbes because I couldn’t. I was too close. I also asked her to do energy work with him. I was a mess! She texted me, “Stop the focus on dying. Work on living with a compromised heart.”

My tears stopped. Immediately I switched my focus and started living every moment with Hobbes. Most of the fear is gone. It creeps back sometimes and I push it out.

Now we enjoy every moment we can with Hobbes.

• I’m present with Hobbes. We sit and just be.
• Rescue Remedy is always close by. Both Hobbes and I use it!
• Hobbes guides all our walks. Many mornings we both just observe the changes happening around us. We’ll stand several minutes and observe. Then Hobbes chooses where to go. We take time and don’t rush our walks.
• I sit on his bed in the living room den as I mediate. We sat like this when he had his CCL surgery over 3 years ago.
• Each day I smile as I realize he lived another day and night.
• We celebrate our special rides. He helped John test a future cruise in the around Lake Minnetonka. He did this several times in the Corvette.
• All of us rode around the Minneapolis Chain of Lakes in the convertible on a beautiful sunny 70-degree perfect day.
• We’ve eaten at several dog friendly restaurants.
• We laughed as Hobbes occasionally grabs a favorite toy and thrashes it about.
• Hobbes leads us to Sophie’s (his Westie BFF) house and visits her people.
• Hobbes, Sophie, and I worked in the Executive Suite (aka Porch) until it got to cold. Sometimes they napped as I worked.
• I started taking long morning walks alone. At first it was hard. I walk fast and enjoy the beauty around me.
• Most importantly, I slowed down and am doing what is important to us first.

Yes, I’m noticing some minor changes in Hobbes. Shorter walks are the big change. Fast activity makes him pant more. And John tries to help Hobbes on the bed –- Hobbes makes a game of it and tries to beat John to the bed!

I learned how moving from fear to gratitude has changed my life. All of us appreciate every extra day and walk we get with Hobbes. And yes we are learning to live while waiting with dog hemangiosarcoma. We appreciate the Chinese herb Yunnan Baiyao is helping Hobbes and his vet’s knowledge of Chinese medicine.

My life hasn’t stopped. I’m helping pet parents during this time with Hobbes. So, if you need help with your pet, schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation.

PS – I highly recommend BluePearl Veterinary Partners and Lake Harriet Veterinary in Minneapolis for all they support and help. Hobbes sings as we approach Lake Harriet Veterinary!

Related posts:

Dog Teaches About Living While Dying Gratitude, Pet Quality of Life, Love Two Dogs Connection in Life and Death Being Present with a Pet